Day 9 &10: Fiber Drink: it's not you, it's me..ok, it's you.

Day 9 & 10 have passed. Been a little stressed, for a couple reasons. I really psyched myself out about this whole weigh-in  yesterday. I had such high hopes of a "big loss." I weighed, and I am pleased with the results. Down 4 lbs, and a total of 2.5 inches lost. I was up a pound this morning, however, I've learned that one of the wonderfully frustrated things about being a woman is that our bodies love water. They love to hold it for a couple days, then divorce it for a couple days, then they get back together, sometimes have kids, or grand kids, then everyone moves out for a while. I wish they would move out for good, so my scale will stop being so sporadic. I saw a sign one time that read, "extra 5lbs, make your way to my boobs or GTFO".  Agreed.

I've also been kind of down lately, and I'm 99.5% sure it's because I'm not going to the gym like I should. My own fault, I know. It's a vicious cycle for people with Major Depression. I wake up not feeling like going, so I don't, then I get down about not going. At that point, my not wanting to go has just gotten worse, and the two situations feed off each other. So I'm at the point right now where I know if I just do it, go back to the gym, I'll instantly feel better when I leave. There's just something about the gym. Feeling that burn in your muscles during strength training. Looking in the mirror watching your form, knowing that with every single lift, push, pull or squat is having a cataclysmic effect on your body. Something inside is tearing, breaking, bending, and getting stronger. Every single move counts. It's a good feeling.

I'm still doing really well on the clean eating. The cravings for bad foods are still there, and will be there for a while, I'm sure. My body is still resetting, so the thoughts of gorging on pizza (still my Mecca for junk food) is still entertained in my still-growing mind, but they're so much easier to stave off when they attack. I went to an event last night that had food, and while the food wasn't that unhealthy, parts of it went against the challenge. So I grabbed a bottle of water before I arrived, and nursed that whenever the smell would get to me. Then I came home and had a healthy dinner. Winning.

I was supposed to go to the dentist today. But I didn't feel very well this morning. Between being out in the heavy rains last night, and a couple things going on personally, I just felt it would be best just to relax today. I need to adjust fire on a couple things that I may have been completely wrong about.
I hate doubting the validity of friendships. I hate feeling like maybe it was all a lie. Makes me very sad, because I thought so highly of them..

But today is a new day, and the start of my Max phase. Yesterday, I said goodbye to the fiber drink. Good riddance! Now I get to try the Meal Replacement Shake, which is about to happen. I've already had my Spark, and the first round of 4 rounds of pills you take throughout this section daily. It's a good thing I have no problem taking pills, sheesh.

Stay tuned!