**Disclosure: I am pouring out a very sensitive part of my life, and I ask that you please be gentle with me. This is not easy for me to discuss, but I know that I need to get it out. Right now.**
As most of my readers know, the DH is officially home from deployment. To say the least, it's certainly been a roller coaster of emotions. All part of the game, I'm told. But that's stuff to be discussed with my therapist so, moving on...
My emotions aren't the only thing riding this Coaster o' mood swings. My weight is also tagging along. So far, I've gained 10 lbs, and as of yesterday, I've lost 4 of those pounds. I thought I was doing very well, considering our eating habits. The "honeymoon" phase is waning, however, I discovered yesterday that it's pretty much the only one on that ride.
Jason and I are doing chores, and I'm helping put away dishes. Everything is all hunky-dory until I squatted down to put the Crock Pot back. Then, I hear it. Snap. I knew immediately what happened, and my blood began to boil. I started speaking "Infantry." "My $@*!# button just #$%@!* #@*&!% snapped," I exclaimed, trying to hold in my rage. If I had been on TV, they would have just laid on that "beep" until the end of scene. I felt like I was a beached whale.
The official lowest point OF MY LIFE.
As much as the possibility exists that this was a cheap pair of jeans with an even cheaper button, I still couldn't help but retain a sense of failure. I was, at that point, out for blood. I wanted to "kill" every piece of food I had eaten, along with all the food that was waiting to be eaten. Food that I knew didn't belong in that kitchen, but thought to myself, He and I are working out together. It'll work itself off. Yea, right. The 1st part is right. So I did what anyone (I hope?) would do in my shoes: I gathered every piece of food out of the cabinets, fridge and freezer, and cast them to the pits of my trash can. The thrifty part of me, of course, was screaming, "Do you realize what you've DONE??" Yup. But I can't go on lying like this. The food didn't belong there, and I knew it. So, good riddance, tempter of weight gain.
I felt absolutely horrible, and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I genuinely felt sad. I laid on the bed and sobbed. It was the first time in a long time that I cried like that. And like the amazing husband he is, DH laid down with me, and comforted me, reassuring me that it would be alright, and that we would fix this. Even right now thinking about how sincere he was brings tears to my eyes. I have a truly incredible husband. I'm one lucky girl.
After the pain subsided a bit, we started hashing out a plan. Working out details for both the Gym and our diet. (He has gained a few pounds as well.) He is determined to get me back on the routine I had with M. Honestly, I wish they hadn't cut out her resource for being able to work out with me. I could certainly use her by my side right now. Anyway, I told him that I needed the motivation that she gave me to be at that Gym every day. So here we go once again, I'm starting over, again.
The only good thing is my endurance never faded. In fact, my running has improved tremendously. Though I'm still at a "Shuffle" pace, I recently jogged an entire 5k with only a couple few-second walks. I've been signing up for virtual races, and have 3 to accomplish this month. I'm sure I'll be posting my medals on facebook (facebook.com/pleasepassthesarcasm), Twitter (@nikidirocco), and Instagram (armyinfantrywife81). I'm more on the latter 2 than facebook. Facebook is getting on my nerves.
With that being said, there's my experience that rocked my world. Slapped me in the face with reality. My wake-up call. You get the picture. I feel much better getting this off my chest. Maybe now I can focus on other things.
Now on to my 2nd piece of news:
I'm going to be changing a few things about this blog. I've decided that I don't have enough to discuss since finishing the 24 day challenge. I would like to continue blogging, so I'm adding more topics to discuss. I'll be chronicling my experience going from a single girl in a big city, to a housewife in the "suburbs" of an Army Installation. I'm calling it, "From Carrie to Cleaver". Catchy, eh? If I can't Change the name of this blog I will, of course, start over with a new blog. Stay tuned for further details on that. I hope my readers stay on with me, but I would like to bring in more readers who can relate to my experience. I hope to make someone else feel like they're not the only one going through this, just like my current blog.
Anyway, I'm done for the day. My housecleaning is calling me. Until next time, "You stay classy, PLANET EARTH." (Anchorman, all rights reserved.)
