01 July 2013

Day 8 - why is this ride going backwards?

It's funny.

Before my workout buddy and I started working out, I was really more of a loner when it came to exercise. I was always put off about the fact that someone would be there, and either hinder me, or push me too hard. If they quit before I did, And we took the same car, I'd automatically start worrying about how bored they were, or if they were wanting me to stop too. Eventually, all the over-rationalization of things wore me down, and I'd stop my workout, knowing very well I wasn't satisfied. But, M has changed my whole perception, and now I'm finding hard to be motivated without her. She has been the only one to not only stick with this consistently with me, but to push me, motivate me, share the victory of killing it at the gym. 

I understand that eventually, with us getting orders for Texas, I'll be back to solo-workouts. But I'm in the now, and I need her back RIGHT NOW! :) I'm not ready to snap the resistance bands holding us together. Because honestly, I'm doing horribly without her. I'm slipping into a terrible habit I had when I was single: ignoring my hunger. Putting off eating until I couldn't stand it any longer. No, I'm not starving myself as part of an eating disorder, I just simply don't want to cook for one sometimes. Or sometimes I get busy and forget to  eat. It happens. That habit also stems from living in a big expensive city working a crappy job, getting paid barely enough to cover your bills. I was Budgeting myself $100 a month for groceries. So by the end of the pay period. I'd skip meals just to ration the food. Being poor sucks, but you start habits that are very easy to slip back into. 

So I'm not even going to cover my food today. Lets just say when I computed my menu, I got in trouble, and it told me I could put my body in starvation mode. Ugh. Sort of getting frustrating. 

Anyway, I've got a busy day tomorrow, and my sleeping pill is kicking in. Since it's 12:02, it's officially Monday. I'm excited for 2 reasons, 1: I get to say "RABBIT RABBIT" for good luck. Anyone remember the nickelodeon channel, and when they had Nick Days? Well every day they had some crazy holiday they made up. But the 1st day of the month was always "rabbit rabbit" day. You said that out loud for good luck. I saw that for the first time when I was 12. Almost 19 years later, I still do it, on the first day of every month. 228 months. Yea, I just calculated it. I have an OCD about numbers. It's really weird and people make fun of me for what I do with them. Don't judge me. 

So the number 2 reason is 1 more day until I get to weigh! Until then, you stay classy, planet earth. 

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